Yes we are married too
1. When should you love thy neighbor?
– When her husband’s away on business.
2. How is a wife like bacon?
– They both look, smell, and taste amazing. They also both slowly kill you.
3. What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”??
– A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once married, he’s finished.
4. What’s the difference between men and women?
– Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake their entire marriage.
5. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
6. Wife: “Can I spend $20,000 on breast implants?”
Husband: “Why don’t you just rub toilet paper all over your chest?”
Wife: “I don’t get it.”
Husband: “Worked on your ass, didn’t it?”
7. Some people say their wedding was the best day of their lives.
– I’m guessing they’ve never had two candy bars fall out of the vending machine simultaneously.
8. My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing.
– I told them I wasn’t yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.
9. What do a wife and a grenade have in common?
– They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.
10. Which one of your kids will never grow up and move out of the house?
– Your husband.