Parenting Jokes

Donate to the domestic violence hotline
Kids.. Can’t live without them

Parenting Jokes

1. I saw a girl crying, so I asked her “Where are your parents?” and she started crying even more.?
– Man, I love working at the orphanage.

 

2.My parents told me that they don’t have a favorite child
– It was tough, considering I am the only child.

 

3. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet…

– I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.

 

4. Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?
– They’ve got two left feet!

 

5. My parents raised me as an only child
– My little brother was really annoyed by it
 

6. A teacher’s letter to a parent: “Dear Parent, Mark, your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath”

– Parent replies: “Dear Teacher, Mark is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you”

 

7. Parents always tell their kids to say ‘no’ to drugs

– If you’re talking to drugs already, I think it’s too late

 

8. Today I came out to my parents, and my dad instantly wanted to disown me
– Luckily, his boyfriend talked him out of it

 

9. Child walks past the parents bedroom

– looks inside and mumbles: And you want to send me to a psychologist for thumb sucking

 

10. My parents called me lazy

I don’t get it I didn’t even do anything